Who? So obviously ... me. sometime Eri As he wrote in his MSN: "Blessed are those who do not expect it will never be disappointed." Maybe my problem is that even knowing I will not be reciprocated, I'm still waiting. Poor fool, poor me ...
Today was the feast of the first year of the son of my cousin Jazmin. Eri call me in the morning to invite me to a concert which I could not attend for two reasons. The first reason was that it was committed to the party of my cousin. And the second is that whenever I come to a place-event-concert with my friends I finish alone. Let's do a recount.
* Six flags in the meet Fat Boy. I ended up only the games, well ... not alone, but my friends could go in the same places and I with perfect strangers. 2 times took pity on me, a guy (very cute the course, coming from Guadalajara Guadalajota ... sorry ...) in Batman, The Ride ', and another guy in' The house of terror. " In 'Superman' I got one, the 'Kilahuea' I got one, another thing I do not remember his name too ... I got only
* The top 40 concert at the Estadio Azteca. Well ... because I could invite Poncho was that I was not alone, but had not IRDO Poncho would have been with me all alone in the middle of Azteca!. Thank you very much to go Ponchito me!. Poncho net ... if I had not gone with me, I would have left there.
* The party EXA in the Bulldog. While we were on ball really was my own. Eri was with Cesar Luis and Nancy, so it was my own. Even the dude in the door I picked up the ticket and asked, "alone?" and I said yes!, because the tickets were twofold.
must have more stuff like that ... but I do not remember very well. These are some of the most memorable.
And it's not a claim for you guys, you know that I love, but also know that I always complain about the same.
In my cousin's party there were many occasions when I felt alone. And very lonely. My cousin Claudia I talked a lot about your husband and remember how well they get along. Never in my life I've seen him fight and you see that love him. My cousin Jazmin alike and Robert, her husband, who despite his age, very young 2, take super good and no fights. And that could make an endless list of partners. My cousins and happy lives. I know I have problems like all couples in this world, but I've never seen someone sitting in front of some grocery stores say, or not talk or something. Truly enviable.
saw the match vs. Mexico Soccer. Argentina. I'll just say: "We played like never before and we lost ... like forever." And against the Argentinians. Too bad. Why we are afraid to success?.
Minute 45, Izumi carrying 2 Tequilas, Minute 60, took 3 Tequilas Izumi, Izumi had 5 minutes 100 Tequilas. Final score: Argentina 2 goals to 1 in Mexico; Izumi: 6 tequilas. I did not feel themselves. The Soccer fascinated me for a while, but again today, and in many occasions I thought of 'S'. So many memories came to my head, so many words echoed in my mind that my intention is collapsed. What I built with the help of some third Cycyn and more, collapsed in a second. At day's end I'm not as strong as I appear, my tears are over the edge than a stone in a ravine. I begged my parents that I go back home or take me to a meter close to going home alone. An hour and a half after my request, finally returned home. I connect to the Internet and wanted to check something, something that perhaps I should not have checked not to feel even more wrong. I will not say why, but I'll just say I understand when someone does not want to talk to me.
I send a song to Albert, same as I wrote in a previous entry for LJ. The last song of Susana Zabaleta, who turns my world and makes me dream, think and mourn.
I fell asleep listening to that song. I slept only about an hour. While trying to sleep my tears dripped from my eyes closed and one hand in my face while chanting to The Zabaleta say "I'm here without you ... without you." and I suppose that although I wanted to be otherwise well.
I'm very sorry. I woke up and plugged in my depressed state and nothing unusual. Cycyn talked to me, but the tears started coming out, I felt very good and Cycyn try to make myself feel better. I'm so sorry, now I feel bad for my friend, one that helped me most in these last days, she makes me laugh, "frika" and sing her songs of Sailor Moon, I made her feel bad. Even when he's wrong I am. I feel even more sorry for that. Sorry about Cycyn. Not your fault, it is my stubbornness and my folly and especially my insecurity that makes me not accept help. I think you know I love you and appreciate everything you do for me. I'm really sorry, I did not make you feel bad. What I fear most will I have in life is what is happening to me. And admit it is ugly, my friends are there but I'm alone. Too bad.
Cycyn really want to ask for an apology and I want you to know that you really want much, do much for me really long I never wanted to hurt you. Sorry. It's not your fault that I make this very sensitive and depressed and no one but me can get me out of that depression. Sorry.
Sorry. Goodnight
Mexico City, Good Morning world ...
Word of the Day: Pantomime
Quote of the day: None relevant but will mention it in a previous post ... "if I hunt butterflies and eat them, would it be enough to feel that feeling ?"...
'It Does not Hurt Anymore ... ...'
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